Where do I even begin? Words simply do not seem to do justice to the
gratitude that Marshall and I feel...I wish a simple "thank you" could
express what I feel but it doesn't even come close.
From day one the care I received from you and Tanya has been more
than I ever could have asked for. The faith and confidence you both
placed in me has been such a blessing. I knew that the care I would
receive under a homebirth midwife would be far different than what I
received with hospital based CNMs. However, you have surpassed all
of my expectations. Throughout the entire 9 months we have worked
together, there was always an underlying trust in my knowledge and in
my abilities. I was treated as an equal and with respect and
although those are things I should expect from my care, they are
things often lacking in the medical world.
...It's been amazing in talking over everything with Marshall. We
fully expected that no matter how amazing, well trained and well-
skilled you and Tanya are, there would be some element of care, a
quirk in your personality...anything that would have bugged us. But
honestly, we cannot find a single fault in the care you provided.
There is not a thing that I would change from my birth experience.
Truly, we are impressed!
I don't know where to begin in expressing my appreciation for the
birth experience that I had. Of course birth is going to be life
changing. Even a traumatic birth like Jensen's [1st birth via c-
section] was amazing in it's own right. What Marshall and I
experienced [with Elijah's birth] was the most profound and life-
altering event of our lives. It was empowering and life-affirming
but most importantly it was so healing. Throughout pregnancy and
even before we conceived I committed myself to wanting a natural
birth. I read all of the books and did all of the research. I took
steps to overcome the trauma and grief from Jenson's birth. But all
of the reading and thinking in the world could not prepare me for the
experience of going through childbirth again. Although I had
convinced myself that I was able to do this, there was always
underlying doubt. So many people have so little faith in a mom's
ability to VBAC that it becomes an underlying doubt. No matter how
much I surrounding myself with people who believed in me, there was
always that fear that because of my previous c-section I would never
be good enough to birth vaginal. I did my best throughout pregnancy
and labor to allow those fears to be overshadowed by the overwhelming
confidence I had in myself and that both you and Tanya had in me.
...I am wholly convinced that I never could have achieved my birth in a
hospital setting. For one, the immediate restrictions, rules,
machines, and needles would have had me under so much stress. I
could never have let go of all of those emotions. But that last hour
of birth could never have occurred anywhere but in the comfort of my
own home. I was unhindered and most of all uninhibited. I was
comfortable to be completely naked. I was free to move as I needed.
I didn't have to deal with being self-conscious about how much noise
I was making or what other people were seeing. I was free.
I give you so much credit for providing such an amazing atmosphere to
allow me to birth in. I was so well supported and cared for, but it
was done so unobtrusively. Throughout the whole second stage of
labor I was aware of the support from both of you and Marshall
energetically, but emotionally and cognitively I didn't even know you
were there. As I recall the process I can barely picture where you
were or what you were doing. But the whole time I felt so strongly
embraced by your support and your confidence. The room seemed to
breathe a message of reassurance and faith.
I had hoped throughout my pregnancy that this would be an experience
of healing and rebirth for me. I had envisioned a natural birth
healing many of the self-doubts I had gained from Jensen's birth. I
never in my wildest dreams imagined reaping what I got. It was
something that both Marshall and I needed to experience. We both
feel such completeness in our life having experienced such an amazing
miracle. I know in my heart that it never would have been possible
without the loving care and support I received. Trust me, I give
myself credit for the work that I did and my abilities in all of
this. But it would be a lie and injustice not to give credit where
credit is due. There are some people who were put on this Earth to
do God's work. If ever two such people existed, it is you and Tanya.
There are people with a special gift and an amazing ability to love
and support...you are both two very blessed people.
...I couldn't have asked for more from you and Tanya, you will always
hold a special place in my heart, in Marshall's and Elijah's.
All my love, Kristin